|
brian knapp and his tiny, tiny nipples
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|
|
| dear hot hot heat, |
[Dec. 10th, 2003|12:20 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  tired | ] |
| [ | music |
| | alexisonfire | ] |
thank you for playing with the unicorns they were some crazy sons of bitches.
love me & ryan and dave and rob
well i am home now and i went to hot hot heat tonight and its only my second night back first full day. boy am i happy to be back i miss people from school cuz they rock but i am happy to be back home. yeah so anyways i got hit on at the show, that was kinda awesome now that i think about it. but i am a big pussy so i didn't say anything but hi really. then hot hot heat came on so i had a good excuse to turn away. i redyed my hair today and ryan dyed his we are smooth now. i guess not a lot of people are allowed to go to this show they are playing at the b-day party. but it says right on the thing u cant get in unless your a hot single male and danielle and ryan agreed that i was so this week doesn't seem like it can et better unless i find a job for the break tomorrow and get some presents for my family. well i'm tired i'm off to play some video games and sleep i think i love you all night night |
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| Dear Seven, |
[Dec. 6th, 2003|05:24 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  quixotic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | now i know what quixotic means -every time i die | ] |
you are such a fucking good movie.
love me, and probably mila too
so its 524 and i just walked mila back to her dorm. we watched Se7en. it was just as good as it usually is when i watch it as expected. Tonight was fun, sober fun. I didn't touch a drop of alcohol. I went around with the guys me and erik kinda babysat then i realized butts was drinking waaaaay too much vodka and i told him he'd be puking. and boy did he ever. hes passed out on his futon now after he fell outta his bed. that was a sight for sore eyes. then i was hanging on the 4th floor for a while. then i left cuz it was gay and loud but it ended up getting busted so i got lucky. Erik snuck out too with one of the girls who lived there's friend from back home Irene. she was really hot too, boy friend in the marines lol. randall was pretty wasted tonight too i dunno how he stayes drunk so long he is kinda a light weight but i love him anyways we're brothas lol well i'm going home soon tomorrow and sunday i ahfta study a ton and do a ton of work but i'll get shit done and i'll be home monday afternoon, and se hot hot heat tuesday night. KICK ASS. well i'm out cuz its 530 now night all or nobody |
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| dear hardcore scene, |
[Dec. 4th, 2003|10:22 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | hardest hardcore song i could find & practicing being tough | ] |
this is funny....
101 Rules of Hardcore
No metal, but still funny...
1) Be tough at all times.
2) Never cheer after a show, only clap.
3) Be open minded in a "punch people" kind of way
4) Only the good hardcore bands have names that are sentences with bad grammar. Boy Hits Car, Boy Sets Fire, Skycamefalling, Boy Sets Car-fire.
5) Ankles are tough so bring your socks down into your shoes so we can see them.
6) Tattoos are tough especially when they are on your calves. See Rule 5 on how to see said tattoo more clearly.
7) Wear your hoody in the mosh pit because sweating like a wild pig makes you look tough.
8) Don't admit you listen to heavy metal.
9) (Exception to rule 8) Only admit you listen to heavy metal if you think it is ironic and you wear 80's cheese metal shirts.
10) Be a non-conformist, just like all your friends.
11) Practice hardcore dancing in front of your mirror and then try them out the next time Atreyu comes to town.
12) A hardcore band is only original if you call it something-core. Example Screamcore, emocore, Screamocore, mathcore, or Medio-core.
13) Remember, it's fun to punch and kick kung fu style.
14) Keep it in the do-jo.
15) Real hardcore fans are called kids.
16) Complain how hardcore bands are playing with metal bands at all costs!
17) Have your own zine, website, production company or be in a band. Claim you are friends with the singer from Shai Hulud.
18) Tell people you work in the music industry.
19) More Ankles people!
20) Embrace everybody in the scene except for those people who are not you.
21) Refer to bands as old school or new school then act tough again.
22) Pretend that you get Dillinger Escape plan.
23) Shop at second hand stores and then go buy expensive shoes.
24) Beat people up and then go to bible study class.
25) Smoking and drinking and having sex before marriage is too trendy. Real hardcore tough guys abstain.
26) Whatever you do, don't let the singer on stage ever sing in the mic. Make sure you grab it from him and sing in it yourself, after all, you do a better job singing then him. It's a wonder they didn't put you on the album.
27) Start your own hardcore band.
28) Have your logo resemble some random 80's product for nostalgia.
29) Talk about the scene any chance you get. Say as many obscure hardcore bands from NJ as possible.
30) If you are shy start an emo band so you don't have to look at the audience.
31) People who know more bands than you are better than you.
32) Add the Letter X before and after important words. XhardcorekidX XmoshfuckX
33) Never say "Did you hear the new Strung Out?" Unless you are attempting to be funny in which case stop it because hardcore kids are tough not funny.
34) It's merch not Merchandise.
35) Hardcore girls must wear head bands at all times.
36) Stretch your ears out to look more intimidating.
37) The bigger you stretch you ears out the more hardcore you are.
38) Your ear should be stretched out enough to accommodate a block of wood, a hubcap or a penis.
39) People in the front row are best used as a ladder/staircase to reach your goal... steal the mic away from the singer.
40) When people ask you if you like a band always say "I only like the old stuff" or "I haven't really gotten into the new stuff."
41) Buy all of that bands merch.
42) Wear your new merch at the next hardcore show.
43) Repeat steps 41 and 42
44) If you have to wear glasses make sure they are thick, black framed ones.
45) Don't tell anybody but make sure you try on your new vintage clothes and stud belt before heading out to see Poison the well.
46) Never admit you don't like Hatebreed and go see them live 12 times a year.
47) Complain that they are playing with Slayer but don't admit you actually like Slayer.
48) Complain at all costs.
49) Tag team hardcore dancing is cool
50) Real hardcore kids are really struggling photographers.
51) You don't go to hardcore concerts, you go to hardcore shows. BIG difference.
52) Name your hardcore dance moves things like "The mother fuck" or "kick that guys ass move" or better yet... stay home and cry.
53) Protect your body from swinging limbs by sacrificing your two arms.
54) Scream about love.
55) All age venues are important so you are not tempted to drink.
56) Claim you know a guy who knows a guy whose best friend was standing next to the guy who got his ass kicked during Converge. Bash the hardcore scene and then go see The Get Up Kids.
57) Anytime somebody mentions a band always say you know somebody in the band.
58) Wear your pins with honour! Shai Hulud, American Nightmare, Minor Threat and the purple heart of valour.
59) Velcro shoes are cool.
60) Don't admit that you have a crush on the singer from Walls of Jericho. If somebody asks, say you respect her as a musician only.
61) Your band name should contain one of the following words: Blood, Murder, Kill, Victim and butterfly.
62) Print your band name as if it was on a bad printing press. Actual graphics are for posers.
63) Sleep on a portrait painted prettier then everyone.
64) 100 bands from around the world to play in your city. All of them are the world's best hardcore bands. Every label represented, every hardcore genre present. The venue is the best all-ages venue in the world. Tickets are $1.00. It is your job to go around saying the festival should be free.
65) Record producers must make sure to pump the mid because mid is tough.
66) Re-issue your demos after every album.
67) When the band starts playing everybody join hands and make a big circle so we can watch the big kids play.
68) Crying on stage makes you a professional.
69) Complain some more.
70) Album covers must be made at home on Photoshop by your good friend.
71) If you are from New York NEVER smile in a promo pic. In fact always try to cross your arms and look into the camera as if you are going to beat up whom ever is looking.
72) If you are from New Jersey NEVER smile in a promo pic either. In fact try to look like you just lost your girl friend to the hardcore band from New York.
73) Never admit that Emo is Country music lyrics mixed with pop rock riffs and marketed by 17 year olds trying to make their friend be the next Dashboard Confessional.
74) American Idol is your worst enemy. (But you voted for Ruben)
75) You can get away with glitter on your face as long as your stretched ear plugs are clear.
76) Fuck beer, Got breast milk?
77) Bandanas are cool.
78) Bandanas with big X on them are cooler.
79) Bandanas with big X on them were cool last week you poser.
80) Your best friend is a guy named XattackX from Jersey who you chat with on MSN everyday. He is coming to see you one day. Really.
81) Chunky breakdowns in your songs are original and you should continue to do them despite every other band doing them which is clearly a rip off of your band.
82) Judge other bands and always compare them to the socio-cultural effects of the band Integrity.
83) Look up Socio-cultural in the dictionary and then get offended.
84) Green Day is the real reason you are still alive.
85) Describe your group of friends as "the scene" and then watch bootlegs of last weeks
86) Obey the laws of the hardcore scene or forever be banished from the circle.
87) When somebody asks you what is hardcore respond with "I am hardcore" then punch somebody in the face for looking at you wrong.
88) Keep punching
89) Kick a little too
90) Punch
91) Add a threat about their mother for good measure.
92) Pretend you are won the fight then pickup your dismembered left arm.
93) You are wearing the same thing as the 40-year old gas pump attendant but for some strange mystical reason you are cooler than he is.
94) Tell everybody that Trustkill Records are too trendy.
95) Did you stop acting tough? I saw you hug that teddy bear.
96) Pierce you tits and tattoo your body.
97) Straight bangs means straight-edge
98) Being vegan means you can't swallow sperm.
99) When in doubt Mock everything
100) Take everything personally.
101) Assume this list is about you |
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| coming home in... |
[Dec. 4th, 2003|06:17 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  exhausted | ] |
| [ | music |
| | romeo a go-go---etid | ] |
3 1/2 days this is awesome...hot hot heat here i come again i hope danielle screams out for touch you touch you again that would be freakin sweet as long as they don't skip oh goddammit. well they murdered us worse than ever at work out tonight they made our sprints worse then doubled the stairs i couldn't even finish i feel so pathetic though i'm pretty fucking hard on myself i noticed but it just wasn't happening double set of stairs with no break in between was fucking murder i got about 3/4 of the way through it and died then somebody revived me i think oh well i'm gonna hang around sober again tonight with the guys they might drink who knows i was always the bad influence before so i kinda doubt they'll drink but who knows well its only 620 so i'll probably update again by the end of the night for a 4th entry i get bored sometimes peace neackas |
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| dear hubies food, |
[Dec. 4th, 2003|11:56 am] |
| [ | mood |
| |  touched | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the sweet sound of fart | ] |
you just made me fart so smelly that i think i woke my roommate up. its horrible but i think that made my day even better than it has been already cept for i found out i got a C on my world civ paper dagnabit well i dunno i'm still praying he doesn't come back next semester that would be B-E-A-utiful muahahahahahaaa well i'm out again bbye bye |
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| this calls for a fucking update |
[Dec. 4th, 2003|10:19 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | ecstatic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | HAPPY CHICKENS BAHK BAHK | ] |
well i think i just kicked my psych quizzes ass so if i got a 90 er above i get a c- atleast i can't believe this shit and my roomy didn't go cuz he failed the course no matter what he got i am still praying he won't be back next semester theres seriously a good chance and this room moving will be complete... well i can't be happier and its my moms b-day yaaaaay i'll probably update again later this rocks my socks off peace biznotches |
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| dear bordom, |
[Dec. 3rd, 2003|03:26 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | enraged | ] |
| [ | music |
| | i'm gonna murder my roommate | ] |
hi again thank you for this survey i guess.
-me
1) First Grade Teacher: Mrs. Suto
2) Last word you said: bye
3) Last song you sang: Sound of Sulfur
4) Last person you hugged: mmm Randall
5) Last thing you laughed at: Ryan still insisting that he will name his son indiana I love that
6) Last time you said 'I love you': I stopped saying that a while ago unless its to my mommy…which was probably Sunday morning
7) Last time you cried: a while ago
8) What's in your CD player: hot hot heat – Alexis on fire
9) What color socks are you wearing: white
10) What's under your bed: clothes that I didn’t unpack cuz I leave in less than a week. Water powerade part of my bed my refrigerator
11) What time did you wake up today: 1244
12) Current taste: tacos
13) Current hair: all over my body but my head is black haired so I guess all of it is right?
14) Current clothes: the same jeans I’ve been wearing for a week and a half now and a thrice sweatshirt that I wear just as much
15) Current annoyance: HOLY FUCK MY FUCKING FAGET ASS ROOMMATE
16) Current longing: TO GET THE FUCK OUTTA MY ROOM
17) Current desktop picture: randall and Brandon drinking beers
18) Current worry: my sickness my mental retardation my passing psychology my thought of getting lots of community service hours for drinking and the fact that I need to move out
19) Current hate: STILL MY FUCKING ROOMMATE and the other 12 things on my hate list for the month of december
20) Story behind your DJ username: I HAVE LITTLE NIPPLES AND ITS ACTUALLY LIVE JOURNAL
21) Current favorite article of clothing: these damn jeans they are so comfy
22) Favorite physical feature of the opposite sex/same sex: eyes
23) Last CD that you bought: boysnightout
24) Favorite place to be: LIVERPOOL FUCKING NEW YORK with all my best friends
25) Least favorite place: HERE IN THE COMPANY OF MY FAGET ROOMMATE
26) Time you wake up in the morning: depends on the day
27) If you could play an instrument, what would it be: anything I have no musical talent
28) Favorite color: I’ve become a big fan of black but probably green or blue
29) Do you believe in an afterlife: sure er maybe not
30) How tall are you: 5 ten
31) Current favorite word/saying: well I got that going for me
32) Favorite book: fear and loathing in las vegas
33) Favorite season: autumn but only in liverpool its just awesome…its got a smell and everything to it
34) One person from your past you wish you could go back and talk to: grandma
35) Favorite day: anyday in the presence of my friends back home
36) Where do you want to go: Boston, England
37) What is your career going to be like: I dunno hopefully successful whatever that means?
38) How many kids do you want?: no more than 3 but not just 1 cuz I hate only childs so 2 er 3
39) What kind of car will you have: a black one black ones are the fastest
40) Type some lines from a book you remember: holding that silverbullet evidence bomb in my hand I knew I was fucked…
41) A random lyric: “and you’ve got the sexy legs”
42) Identify some things surrounding your computer: well I live in a cage and everything Is around me so my bed my fridge my printer all my cds and dvds all my clothes a futon a faget roommate this place is a living hell right now kill me |
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| its a good fucking thing i have this |
[Dec. 3rd, 2003|12:35 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | pissed off | ] |
| [ | music |
| | FUCK YOU MATT | ] |
Dear Lord,
Bless Matt Okopny, because he is gonna get his fucking face kicked in.
Sincerely, his loving roommate
He rolled a blunt and smoked right in my room today my room wreaks of fucking pot i can't breathe i'm forced to fucking go into amanda and colleens room to sleep this is fucking bullshit the only reason i'm writing in this is because its keeping me from pounding his fucking face in. what the fuck if i don't get out of here soon i will beat the fuck out of him.
i'm too pissed to go on. good night |
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| Dear Ryan, |
[Dec. 2nd, 2003|09:04 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  nostalgic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | when the sun sleeps, again thanks ryan | ] |
thank you for underoath. :-D smiley
love brian
yeah so like i'm almost done with school this semester its awesome. I went to lifting today put up 290 lbs on leg press 35 times then did conditioning that was killer... then i came back had dinner had a smore and now i'm just hanging out i don't know what to talk about right now paris hilton is hot and i don't really even like blondes but they are coming back right now i think its just cuz i'm in heat but that will die down soon i'm a re re a really really honest re re at that last night was funny when erik talked to this girl ashley and i ran away cuz i can't talk to her cuz the only time i ever talked to her i was completely smashed and i just looked right at her when she was in the hall and go " youre beautiful" wow i am so dumb but it was funny i'm gonna go now night night
ps i miss home but i will be back soon enough
sober 7 days |
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|
| dear Ryan, |
[Dec. 1st, 2003|07:10 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | rejuvenated | ] |
| [ | music |
| | every time i die | ] |
oo23 757 o2 2 31 (5:37:00 PM): BRIAN
Auto response from oo23 757 o2 2 31 (5:37:00 PM): out wiht the lads
oo23 757 o2 2 31 (5:37:05 PM): WE ARE THE LADS
oo23 757 o2 2 31 (5:37:14 PM): THEY ARE PEOPLE YOU KNOW FROM COLLEGE
oo23 757 o2 2 31 (5:37:27 PM): WE ARE YOUR ONLY FRIENDS!
i found that funny cuz they said that while i was home and then when i left tonight i was typing friends and stopped and put lads so it was funny he said that.
tonight was fun i went out to compUSA with randall and brandon we messed around a lot and randall showed me how a bunch of shit works and what i'm gonna do when i get my camera and shit for editing so that was neat then went to guitar center and listened to him play then messed around on this turntable thing that works for mp3s it was totally sweet... i'm in a really good mood i gotta buckle down and do some work its only 713 and thats cool cuz i got plenty of time to do work and mess around some more this week will be good but then i go back home and it will be GOODER well i'm out for now later dudes and dudettes or nobody... |
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| turning myself upsidedown errr rightsideup |
[Dec. 1st, 2003|01:03 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | recumbent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the sweet sounds of REGGIE | ] |
well i'm sick of being down already, its a stage that comes and goes and the only way i can ever get out of it is when i grow some balls and do it. so now its december 1st and i'm not drinking alcohol until atleast my birthday, if i feel like it after that i might wtf but until then nope. and i'm gettin shit done. no more petty girl problems i don't care. what i do care about are my best friends,if they are down i will do my damnedest to pick them back up again, and myself cuz once in a while you hafta fucking do some things for you. So right now you'll find me trying my hardest to be happy and if you wanna bring me down then the hell with you. I need this, i don't need to feel bad for myself or anybody else to feel bad for me either. i got no reason i got some problems yes but fuck i am a strong believer in everything happens for a reason. I've seen myself at my lowest point and i don't wanna be there again.but my friends were there for me when i was , so if they need me i'm gonna be there for them too. its a tough fucking time in life right now but we're all gonna get through it cuz i don't know what i'd do if one of us didn't... |
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| well i'm back in buffalo...for a week |
[Nov. 30th, 2003|10:00 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | quixotic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | What the FUCK IS QUIXOTIC??? | ] |
so i'm back in buffalo no more than 36 minutes when a cop decides to stroll down my hall and see my roommates empty beer cans stuck to the floor...i studder to get words out i'm all ...they're my roommates hes in michigan ...and he just looks at me all fucking pissed and's like yeah well u better clean em up ur lucky no officer would be this nice...so i almost got arrested and shat myself...leading me to believe this time back at school may suck ass, and also proving once and for all that i need to get out of my room or atleast get a new roommate...
break was great i love everyone in liverpool. i kinda missed my friends at UB though just not UB liverpool is too sweet and i have a big boy bed now so now i got everything back at home cept for a girl oh well though maybe that will come but probably not soon enough...i'm unpacking and shit though so this is short i love you all besides those of u on my hate list but bye bye |
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| (no subject) |
[Nov. 28th, 2003|04:27 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  indifferent | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the music that plays in my head | ] |
well this morning i went to bed at 6 good thing ryan never called me again but oh well then i got up like 15 times but eventually slept til 335 after my phone stopped ringing constantly...
tonight i play soccer with old friends and old teammates ...this should be fucking amazing i can't wait its in like 2 hours...then i have 2 12 packs in my car trunk and they need to be finished before i go back to school cuz i told myself i wouldn't drink until my birthday after this weekend, i figure its a deal even though i'm gonna go back and want to drink with randall and butts and bison and buttaz and everyone else i dunno though maybe i'll not drink then drink like my last weekend there i just know i wanna buckle down and study my ass off for my last things so i leave with a good gpa my first semester...
...today i read an article in the paper, it really sucked, talked about all the people outta cny that went to a D1 school and that made it to the NCAAs, i think that bites cuz i sure didn't i got to go DI and play but my team sucked donkey balls and won only 1 game and tooms was bad too so him and deaner didn't get in either...well i'm assuming my club coach wrote it and gave it to the guy at the paper cuz they are buddies, it made his son look really good, but fuck it he is good especially when hes surrounded by good players , which i certainly was not...
...oh well tonight we see if i really grew as a player, if not i'm drinking myself retarded and jumping off a tall building face first...i'm pretty indifferent about life now i dunno whats going on as much as i don't wanna be depressed its a feeling that i can't kick but little things like tonight help me slowly get out of it or atleast for the night...
Dear Self,
Please don't suck today. Your self esteem won't be able to take it.
Love,your confidence
this story's old but it goes on and on until we dissappear
call me and let me taste the salt u breathe while u were underneath
i am the one that haunts ur dreams of mountains sunk below the sea
i spoke the words but never gave a thought to what they mean
i know that this is what you want
a funeral keeps both of us apart
u know that u are not alone
i need you like water in my lungs |
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|
| Dear Monopoly |
[Nov. 28th, 2003|01:49 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | groggy | ] |
| [ | music |
| | deja entendu | ] |
why must you take forever to play?
Dear Thankgiving Dinner,
why must you give me the worst gas ever, forcing ryan to call doorknob forcing chris to punch me forcing me to punch chris back then catch another in the lip, forcing me to have a fatlip?
That sucked.
Well thanksgiving wasn't too bad i guess kinda boring but i think its the most boring holiday ever to be quite honest and nothing is open so i think ur expected to just lie around and feel fat.
I woke up late ate hung around went to my dads then went to ryans with a bunch of the guys listened to uncle wayne and big daddy talk shit while playing cards then hung out and watched cannibal the musical that was hilarious...then played 3 1/2 hours of monopoly...chris is lucky i held in my anger though...cuz now i have a fatlip and i could only imagine what he'd have. oh and i basically beat up my dad today but it was all in good fun... today was super depressing again, then i went to ryans which made me laugh alot now i'm too tired to even be depressed which i think is a good thing i'll just pass out cuz i'm gonna get up early and go out with ryan cuz its black friday and he wants to get cheap video games god i'm a loser
yup thats about it nothing too bad today overall not too pathetic of an entry good night |
|
|
| untitled |
[Nov. 27th, 2003|02:04 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | hiding under a rock | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the anniversary | ] |
dear keystone ice,
you fucked everyone up very nicely,
thank you
well last night was great, i got drunk with all the guys well all that didnt have highschool the next day... it was great til i kinda brokedown but we all spilled our guts to eachother last night and it was good i think
i'm struggling at life again...this seems to be an ongoing event ...i went to dinner with my mom tonight talked about everything shitty thats going on she cried which wasn't like it was my fault but i still felt like shit it was basically one of the more depressing nights again
i decided after this week i'm not gonna drink until new years atleast i'm really gonna try i'm not drinking at school i'm buckling down studying for my last quizzes or tests getting out with a sweet gpa and gettin a job for christmas break i need something to get my mind off things even though if i get a job i bet i'd sit around and think about shit constantly
... i don't know what to do and theres really no way to get out of this slump i suck at life
i'm gonna go hide somewhere (most likely my comfortable big boy bed)
and i'll march slowly
and i'll never forget
how the music stopped
or the feel of your breath |
|
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| Dear kinda copying ryan well and bob (who hates me) |
[Nov. 25th, 2003|02:39 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| |  thirsty | ] |
| [ | music |
| | 20goesto10-invisible | ] |
Dear Self,
stop drinking horribly cheap beer.
Sincerely,
Your Liver
its 242 now but i woke up at like 221 and i realized everyones outta school already oh well i feel well rested i can never sleep really and that felt fucking amazing on my new huge bed, which needs a partner of the opposite sex on it at the same time as me, not even for that just for spooning maybe...
well i think i should get my ass into gear or something i'm in need of an adventure shea come home today i will box him tonight and we will tape me knock him out
ryan never called me this morning i hope he just decided to go to school even if he didn't i'll just pretend he did
i gotta go get my shitty car from the shop its all inspected and shit yaaaay |
|
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| i dunno y |
[Nov. 25th, 2003|12:51 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | pessimistic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | impossibles | ] |
well its like a half hour later and i'm doing it again
i'm up and down i need a soundtrack to my life
it would be fantastic... the songs would just play in my head all day and i could be happy when i needed to or have different songs for different feelings right now i would be stuck in a reggie/impossibles/anniversary/submarine3/ kinda day er month
i got cheered up when i talked to a few sweet people tonight online so then i got back on here to update like i needed to er something?
i'm in love with the world
through the eyes of a girl
whose still around
the morning after...
thats it |
|
|
| and i'll march slowly and i'll never forget... |
[Nov. 25th, 2003|12:01 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | lethargic | ] |
| [ | music |
| | the anniversary | ] |
how the music stopped or the feel of your breath
well i'm back in liverpool...before i came back black cara said something to me and i was blown away...she commented on me being happy to come home i believe her exact words were, "Why? Liverpool sucks!!!" what she doesn't understand is that when your stuck in buffalo ny for months on end with some faget in a small room u get a little paranoid and you need to come back home sometimes...
Well i came back saturday went to denny's we all puked slept over at daves (spooned w/ ryan)
woke up sunday then i bought girls jeans and some other ones w/ ryan edited video with jessie watched football with my dad then jessie and ryan stayed over today we got up and i went to school that was a trip i've been discovering a lot of things or finalizing my original theories...Liverpool is the breeding grounds for white trash/ wanna-be thugs its so pathetic u realize it when u go out anywhere...
i guess i'm not anybetter though i wear girls jeans now :-\
coming home has put my depression at a hault for now i still get bummed especially when i'm by myself thats why i've been with somebody nonstop it makes everything easier to take u could tell me i was gonna die in 24 hours as long as i was surrounded by my friends but truthfully i don't think i'd be upset anyways cuz shit can get so bad i don't know what to do... what i do know what to do is put lots of...'s after sentences but i think its a new found transition for me or not a complete thought... as sad as it sounds i really need a girl in my life and i don't wanna just need one and look in the wrong places and just jump on the first opportunity but thats the other thing there haven't been opportunities...hmmph well i still suck at life and i don't even have soccer to somehow make me feel like i'm good at something how sad is that
i saw elf tonight it was really funny i enjoyed it will ferrell is a genious i don't know how he does it but he does ...
i think i'm gonna try and fall asleep but i know its not happening... so i'll probably play video games all night or tlak online to people who aren't there...
what is wrong with me
Dear Ryan,
i love you
-brian |
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| i will lie awake |
[Nov. 22nd, 2003|04:52 am] |
| [ | mood |
| | depressed | ] |
| [ | music |
| | desaparecidos and brand new decent combination | ] |
life for fun and fake the way i hold u let u fall for every empty word i say...
well basically thats the opposite of me everything i say i try to be truthful and seriously that sucks sometimes cuz i shoot myself in the goddamn foot right now its fucking 455 am and i'm updating my journal after a long night of confessing my love to mila no joke this girl is the coolest girl i've met theres just something abuot her that makes her so sweet and down to earth plus she isn't a slut or a bitch and she is super sexy nothing will happen nothing is static this is my life i'm the all living all dying crap of the world and i'm falling apart one minute at a time
the word is love...the word is loss... |
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| i got wasted again and started something i'm gonna hafta finish... |
[Nov. 21st, 2003|01:37 pm] |
| [ | mood |
| | cranky | ] |
| [ | music |
| | desaparecidos | ] |
well last night i finished my 6 page paper for english and took some shots had a few beers and talked shit to amy's boyfriend online then today it was funny
InTeNsiTy LeVeL (1:33:40 PM): itll just make you look more bad when i kick your ass
voiceoutofmyhead (1:33:56 PM): more bad huh
voiceoutofmyhead (1:34:01 PM): ur smart too
InTeNsiTy LeVeL (1:35:40 PM): fuck you
well we're supposed to fight now and to be honest i don't really want to but if it comes down to it i'll fucking kick his ass then piss on him cuz seriously i'm not small i know how to fight hes tiny supposidly knows how to well says amy but i'm gettin kinda jacked since i've been lifting 4 times a week its kinda fun especially since i'm supposed to box shea too and i told him i'm outta shape and stopped working out since the season was over i maxed out twice at 53 reps on 225 pounds for leg presses today so i did fucking crazy amounts
i really wish i was a 10th grader in highschool... for the particular reason of mila she is so super sexy and i want her but shes got a boy back home and i'm sure hes great or else wtf hes in highschool but i will continue to hit on her and treat her like gold i have a problem being nice then i get walked over fuck well i go home soon i need sleep desperately 4 horus then i woke up went to english then a psych experiment then that lifting where phil the trainer murdered me but i'm gonna sleep then home yaaaay... peace all er nobody |
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littlenips's journal